The license plates don’t lie.  Tasmania really is Australia’s “Natural State.”  That’s not to say that a great deal of Australia isn’t untouched and hardly populated, but when you consider Tasmania’s size compared to the rest of the country, you realize just how beautifully empty it really is.  Its lengthy stretches of picturesque farmland, massive amounts of untouched forest and completely untainted coast line make it the perfect place for a couple of nature lovers to take a nice long holiday.

Launceston

Is where we started our trip.  When I heard we were flying into Tasmania’s second largest city, I certainly didn’t expect urban sprawl, but I also didn’t expect to see pastures full of fluffy sheep I could practically count as the plane was landing.  Nor did I expect to meet an actual retired sheep farmer on the plane, nor have him offer us a ride to our hotel.  Aussies say Tasmania is like one great big country town, and considering the lax security at the airport and the friendly locals, I could already see that was a pretty accurate assessment.

Launceston itself is an odd sprinkling of features you might find in a city, rather than a well planned urban environment.  There was certainly a charm to the historic style of the buildings and the town center, which included a practically empty seaport and was a short walk from our hotel, a rather lovely converted convent.  We decided to launch into our vacation by eating at the restaurant recommended by the friendly locals.  However delicious the fresh seafood (and I mean really fresh) was at the local gourmet selection Stillwater, the place was a tad too pricey, even for Oz.

Getting to the Mountain

After going through a painless car rental and obtaining our oh-so-essential Nav system, we set off early for Cradle Mountain, a famous peak near the center of the island.  Tasmanian weather was quick to remind us that we were significantly further south than Sydney, by giving us a cold sprinkling of rain and lots of moody mist throughout our drive.  But, if anything, I think it made the rolling green hills, acres of farmland dotted by sheep and cows hiding in the veil of mist, and artistically stripped gum trees (eucalyptus) look that much more like something you’ve only ever seen in a painting.

The mist was so thick in fact, that the mountain itself snuck up on us, suddenly appearing like a wall of rock.  Its jagged edge was the only thing that made it look more like a mountain than a rain cloud.  Then we found ourselves boxed in by the trees, tall straight gum trees lining either side of the road, with nothing visible beyond them.  The way up quickly became windy and the last 8 kilometers over unsealed (unpaved) road to the our lodge were probably the most fun.  Other travelers had reported the road to be much more of a challenge than it was.  They’ve probably never driven the 1 through Big Sur in California, but I’m still glad we got the full car insurance.

Our destination was well worth the journey.  The perfectly located Lemonthyme Lodge is a self proclaimed wilderness retreat, located deep in a forested portion of the mountain.  It boasts being the largest log cabin in the Southern Hemisphere, which I don’t doubt, has acres of private land with hiking trails and what turned out to be an excellent restaurant.  That’s a big plus considering that guests would have to face a steep drive for about an hour to get food anywhere else.  We took up residence in one of their “treetop” cabins (appropriately named the Wombat cabin), which had a raised balcony over the lush forest floor.

We spent the rest of that day and the next day hiking the trails around the lodge.  That’s where we learned a valuable lesson for the rest of our journey.  When Tasmanian maps say “medium” or “moderate” hike, they don’t mean the mildly aerobic, muscle warming hike you might find in a US park.  They mean you will climb up and down repeatedly, over rocks, tree roots, through mud and over whatever might have fallen across the path.  These particular trails (maintained by the same staff that worked in the restaurant) usually took us through forest so overgrown and so very untouched, that fallen trees were on top of fallen trees, moss was growing on every surface it could attach to, and Man Ferns (yes that’s really what they are called) provided good umbrellas from the mist.  If either of us had stopped paying attention to the occasional reflectors marking the designated path, we easily could have been lost deep in this ancient feeling forest.  That explains why you have to register before you go on a hike in Tassie.

As you can imagine, the area around the Lodge was also the perfect place to meet some local wildlife.  Our cabin was surrounded daily by Superb Fairy Wrens, a beautiful bird so tiny and so fast that it might by mistaken for an overgrown bug (I could never even find one in the aviaries at the zoo).  I saw one small Platypus for a split second before it swam under rock and disappeared into the mud.  Damn elusive monotreme!  And we were introduced to yet another marsupial that I had never heard of before, the Pademelon.  Australia certainly doesn’t run short of animals with pouches.  These pademelons, which are like wallabies but smaller (which basically means a really tiny kangaroo) would munch nightly on the kitchen scraps tossed out by the lodge staff.  We even got to pet the lodge’s tame adopted pademelon, Sniffy, a soft little fellow indeed.  And when night came we were introduced to the sound of a Tasmanian Devil shrieking, which is like something out of a horror movie.  Who knew such little animals could make so much noise?

Cradle Mountain

We also took a day to go up to “The Mountain” which is what everybody calls the state park at the peak of Cradle Mountain.  If the misty green forests halfway down the mountain are the kind of environment that inspires fairy tales, then the landscape near the peak would inspire gothic poetry and romance novels.  There is a sort of post apocalyptic feeling to the twisted naked trees surrounded by low bushes, and of course here too it was windy, cold and very misty.  Dove Lake, where we started our day, most certainly has a monster living deep within its reddish water.  But he probably only eats the tourists that don’t register their hikes before taking off.

After making the lengthy circuit around the lake and hopping over the various creeks running down the hiking path, we decided a nice level boardwalk hike along Ronny Creek was in order.  The sun had finally come out and we were treated to our first wild Wallaby sightings.  And since the distinctive square wombat poop was all over the boardwalk, and there were visible burrows everywhere, I kept my eyes peeled for more furry friends.  Unfortunately, no wombats, echidnas or other animals seemed to be around, despite the fact that we were surrounded by so much animal poop, that I decided the Tasmanian license plates should read “Tasmania, there’s poop everywhere.”

It wasn’t until we got onto the bus back to our car that I finally saw a nice fat wombat, looking like a big fuzzy rock as he munched his way through the grass.  And on the car ride back we saw two echidnas awkwardly waddling, as they do, along the side of the road.  Maybe these particular Aussie animals are only visible through windshield glass.

From the Mountains to the Coast

The next day we left the mountains for the East Coast of Tassie and the town of Bicheno.  Unsurprisingly, we passed a lot more farmland and many more sheep and even a group of dairy cows being escorted across the road.  The road itself was almost as empty as the landscape and motorcycling is clearly a big recreational sport in the area.  All you have to look out for is the possums, wallabies and other animals that evidently cross the road with some frequency.  Eventually farmland became vineyards, vineyards gave way to more gum trees, and finally we were at the sunny coast.

Our hotel, The Bicheno Hideaway, was no less than awesome.  Consisting of a few private chalets on a beach adjacent plot of land, you feel like the only creatures you’re sharing your stay with are their pet peacocks and the adorable family of Bantam chooks (chickens) running around the property.  We decided to head straight for the beach that was just a short walk away from the chalets which, like all hikes in Tassie, proved to be a bit more challenging than advertised.  But this totally private beach, with it’s beautiful tide pools and sand that was literally covered in seashells was worth the bushwhacking journey.

The town of Bicheno itself is very much a fishing and resort town, with not much more than the essentials to offer and endless places to stay which advertised ocean views.  The recommended place to get seafood was the local Sea Life Center, which seemed a slightly odd combination.  See it in tanks, then eat it off your plate!  But the food didn’t disappoint and it was the perfect place to buy some cheesy souvenirs.  After dinner we took a walk on the beach, which required keeping a sharp eye out for the washed up jellyfish all over the sand.  We also attempted to take in one of the tourist attractions, Fairy Penguins.  These miniaturized penguins come to Aussie shores during their breeding season.  Despite finding the burrows where they clearly lived, and left their notable fishy odor and messy white poops behind, it was still too early for them to be out and about.  Why must everything in Oz be nocturnal?

Freycinet Peninsula

The next day we went to the nearby Freycinet National Park to see the famous Wineglass Bay, voted one of the best beaches in the world.  It wasn’t until we started our hike up to the viewpoint that I finally felt we had found where all the other tourists had gone.  Nonetheless, after the steep hike of supposedly over 600 stairs both up to the viewpoint and then down to the beach, we found the white crescent of sand practically empty.  Unfortunately, the water is a tad frigid in Tassie, but the sand was still the perfect place for lunch and a nap.

We decided to take the long way out, which proved to involve a great deal more climbing than advertised and a lot of hopping mud puddles while crossing the boggy forest in the center of the peninsula.  But the hike took us to an even more beautiful destination, Hazard’s Beach facing the Great Oyster Bay.  This stretch of sand had probably no more than ten fellow hikers on it, and the huge bay it faced was shockingly empty, with not a boat in sight.  The bank of sand was also covered with muscle shells and oyster shells, which were probably not recently discarded, but most likely the remains of a massive Aboriginal shell midden that had once sat on the shore.  Being on this beach one could truly imagine what it must have been like to be an early explorer who set foot on an undiscovered foreign shore for the first time.

Despite the wobbly state of our legs after we came out of that five hour hike, we decided there was one more destination we had to explore.  Honeymoon Bay had advertised warmer temperatures in the afternoon because of it’s shallow water.  And despite the amazing views and the totally clear glassy water it had to offer, this rocky little bay was once again practically empty.  The water was warmer, yes, but still a temperature I would prefer for a drink rather than a swim, but I had to get in at least once.  It was probably good for icing my sore muscles anyway.

Back in Bicheno, we managed to stay up past the sunset (a big accomplishment after that day) and made one last attempt to see the Fairy Penguins.  Not only were we successful this time, but we got so close to them that I almost got pecked by one.  He made quite a loud squeak as he rocketed out of his burrow to get my foot of his front lawn.  We observed them for a while, listed to their odd little squawks as they called to each other and watched them plan each hop across the rocks with great care.  When you are that small, the crevices between the rocks must feel like canyons.  When one audibly squirted out a poop nearby, we decided that was an appropriate time to leave them to go about their business.  Seriously, there’s poop everywhere!

East Coast NatureWorld

We set off the next day for the capitol city of Hobart, but couldn’t leave all our furry friends without a quick visit to the nearby East Coast NatureWorld.  This sleepy little zoo seems to rely a great deal on the fact that visitors to Tassie must know a thing or two about the local wildlife, and how not to piss the animals off.  The Wallabies and Kangaroos roam free and they encourage visitors to buy $1 bags of food so you can get up close and personal with them (although you are instructed to keep the bags hidden if at all possible, to keep yourself from being rushed by a nice big roo).  Most of the “cages” are nothing but low walls, so the Tasmanian Devils (an animal with something like 3 times the jaw strength on an American Pit Bull) could take your fingers if you were silly enough to reach down to them.  The baby emu in the petting zoo tires to undo your shoelaces (and pecks you in the butt if you’re not paying attention).  And once again, there’s poop everywhere.

But being so up close and personal with the animals actually gave us the the rare opportunity to pet a cute little Tassie Devil.  This eight month old female, being held by a zoo keeper of course, was very soft, and so sleepy in fact, that she not only tried to fall asleep in his arms as we were petting her, but actually curled up and went to sleep right where he put her down.  Yes, everything is nocturnal.  In fact the one wombat we were able to find outside of a burrow, was not only asleep, but the gyrations of his paws lead us to believe that he must have been dreaming of digging. But the devils definitely woke up at feeding time, and we were treated to some of their characteristic squabbles over food, some nice bone crunching noises, and an odd little spitting noise they make as they eat, which I think means “Mine!”.

Hobart

The journey to Hobart consisted of, you’ll never guess, more farm land and more sheep (this time with amazing ocean views) a couple of sleepy coastal towns and then suddenly you find yourself in a city.  Hobart definitely feels like the “big city” in Tasmania, but we still found ourselves able to walk around the town center without completely wearing our legs out.  Once back in the urban grind, we thought we might have some civilized fun, but our timing seemed a bit off.  There was no cruise to the Cadbury factory that day, no Tall Ships doing lunch cruises until the weekend, no “Taste of Tasmania” festival until after Christmas, and even the famed Sydney to Hobart race (which the city seemed to be gearing up for) wasn’t due to end until well after Christmas.  Oh well.

So we opted to head to Mount Wellington, a peak which looks out over the Derwent river.  I was prepared to be unimpressed by this city adjacent natural wonder, but Tasmania hadn’t finished pulling out the stops.  The drive up the the peak is steeeeeeeeeeeep and what seemed like only mild cloud cover in the city below became a thick fog toward the peak.  The television transmitter right near the parking lot would disappear and reappear with the passing of the clouds.  At the top, the mountain is a lunar landscape.  Too windy for trees, all you see are oddly shaped rocks sticking out between low purplish bushes.  And the silence was so resounding that the loudest thing we could hear was the buzzing of the flies.

After walking through the clouds a bit, we decided to drive a ways down the peak so we could take a hike to a view point we might actually be able to see the city from.  And once again, through the windshield glass we spotted an echidna.  I didn’t know those little guys could climb so well.  I guess ALL Aussie animals are tough.  We took a short hike through a nice green, wet forest, an environment that was starting to feel very familiar.  And we made our way out to a rock shelf where we could just barely see the harbor below, and the clouds practically made a ceiling above us.

We returned to the city and after an hour long search for cheesecake (everything decided to close at 4pm that day) we went to see Avatar, a surprisingly appropriate movie to see after running around in the trees for a week.   We ended the night by eating some fish and chips and a taking walk on the docks between the fishing boats which, no doubt, had supplied our dinner.

And In Conclusion

I feel incredibly privileged to have seen the amazingly beautiful and, at times, very weird island of Tasmania.  Despite the fact that many Aussie’s can’t imagine what we reason we could possibly have to go back, or how we even managed to fill nine days there in the first place, I would jump at the opportunity to go back.  I still have the whole West coast to explore, fur seals to lounge on the beach with, and more elusive wild wombats to find.  And now I know the most valuable piece of information I think any traveler to Tassie should know: wear shoes that you don’t mind getting a little poop on.