Yup, that pretty much sums up Australia.  Welcome.  Come on in and enjoy yourself . . . oh and something might eat you before you leave, but no worries mate.

The Australian Museum is a nice little piece of Sydney history, that maintains that message very consistently.  Just like the Zoo, it’s a very friendly place to get to know the local animals.  Of course, all the ones at the museum are stuffed, with the exception of a few sea creatures (I’ve actually never seen a cuttlefish in person before) some ugly spiders, one bored looking blue tongue lizard, and one itty bitty freshwater crocodile (they’re cute when they’re small).

The idea of being surrounded by stiffly posed, glass eyed creatures, that probably ate their last bits of eucalyptus thirty years ago, sounds morbid, but it’s actually quite fun.  Now I know that the grey headed flying foxes that I see leaving the botanic gardens in droves each night, have the softest of fluff on their heads, and that echidnas are quite spiny indeed.  And even though a great deal of the animals are safely stowed in display cases, including a few that seem to have seen better days since their visit to the taxidermist, there are no shortage of Australia’s more iconic animals primed for petting on each floor.  The surplus have been turned into a creative series of displays where the rats chase each other through the backyard BBQ, and the magpies dive bomb unsuspecting bikers.  According to the wall text, it’s common to use ice cream containers with eyes drawn on them as fake targets, to prevent being blinded in a magpie attack.  I’m not sure I’ll go as far as wearing an ice cream container, but I will walk cautiously during their nesting season.

Although smaller than some of it’s American counterparts (lacking the space for both the massive T-rex skeleton and the life sized humpback whale, this natural history museum opts for a whale skeleton as a compromise) it is a great place to learn about the many creatures that are, and have always been, unique to Australia.  Did you know about the Diprotodon Optatum, the largest marsupial that ever lived?  And somehow all my previous explorations into natural history, in both museums and books, never taught me about zooids or that sandworms could have legs.

But perhaps the most important thing you learn during a trip to the Australian Museum, is that everything, from the most unassuming shell washed up on the beach, to a tick practically invisible when first born, can kill you.  That may be obvious when you’re looking at a saltwater crocodile, a reptile so large that it might consider a full grown human no more than a hearty meal.  But no one would suspect that the tiny blue ringed octopus, that could fit in the palm of your hand, could also paralyze every function of your body, to the point where you would need constant CPR until its poison worked its way out of your system (a mere twenty four hours later).  I think Bill Bryson said it best when he wrote, “It’s a tough country.”

So once again, I find myself grateful for my humble abode, but today that’s because of it’s lack of a spider filled back yard and distance from crocodile friendly shoreline.  I have until early summer to prepare myself to get into the water.  In the meantime, I’ll buy the large container of ice cream, just in case.  It’s a good thing I like ice cream.

Check this flickr set for more fun photos.