Tag Archives: 2009

Do not attempt to adjust your computer monitors

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Window View

Window view with dust

The top image is what the view from our livingroom window would look like on an average sunny Sydney day.  The bottom image, is the view we woke up to on Wednesday September 23rd, 2009, the day an epic dust storm blew over the city.  This dust came all the way from the arid west, and blanketed most of the state.  Keep in mind that the continental land mass of Australia, is nearly the same size as the US, but has only six states.  That would be like the entire midwest getting lost in a cloud.  It’s no wonder they saw this dust from space!

The dust took over 12 hours to clear out, slowly becoming a grayish vale before the sun started to peak through.  So Sydney went from looking like the Mars landscape in Total Recall (minus Schwarzenegger) to Could City (without Billy Dee) and back to normal again.  Though the high winds proved very helpful in clearing the dust out to sea (actually up to Brisbane before heading over the ocean, sorry Brizzie) they also blew the dust into every nook and cranny capable of containing particulates.  So, trips outside required interesting headgear . . .

Gabe Bandana

And my apartment, which I had just cleaned last week, is now a dusty mess.  What you see here is a bookcase where an alarm clock and two pairs of binoculars were sitting during the storm.

Dusty Bookcase

News reports of this record breaking event yesterday, ranged from discussion about how well the car washing businesses were going to do, to the environmental implications of acres of missing top soil.  With raging fires and massive floods in the US, earthquakes in Southeast Asia, and a martian haze clouding Sydney, I can’t help but wonder if the Mayans were right.  So what do you think?  Is this a sign of things to come?

Bedroom window dust

A Little Wiser from the Walkabout

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It has been just over three months since I moved my life down under.  So, I figured now would be a good time to reflect on the vast, cross cultural wisdom, my new life in Oz has blessed me with.

Rocket = Arugula
Capsicum = bell pepper.  While pepper = a chili or hot pepper or (in slang) a hot woman.  And if you are hitting on a pepper you are probably tuning her.
Museli = granola, oats, cereal and almost any other form of grain heavy breakfast food
Prawns = Shrimp, always.  I don’t think Aussies believe in eating the prawn’s scrawny cousin, the shrimp.  Not enough meat.
Tasty = cheese.  I agree, cheese is tasty.
Stuffed up = Fucked up.  I kind of like the middle school is charm of that expression.

Cadbury in addition to being a prolific candy, also means lightweight.  If I wasn’t a cadbury already, then $8 for single shot beverages has turned me into one.

Soda and candy has real sugar in it, and costs a lot more.  Ditto for the pasta sauce.  The candy tastes great, but I haven’t gotten used to the pasta sauce yet.

Go out early for breakfast, and early for lunch.  If you want something decent, then breakfast ends at 11am and lunch ends at 2:30.  Good thing It’s impossible to drink enough to leave you so hungover that you wake up craving breakfast at 3pm.  At least you can still get great coffee all day.  And if you see a breakfast special that comes with a coffee, get it.  Unlike the itty bitty cup of swill you might get from a NYC street vendor, coffee out here means your choice of cappuccino, latte, or a flat white, long black, short black and all those other forms of coffee the Aussies seem so proudly addicted to.

When going out to eat, don’t expect great service, unless you’re at a Thai restaurant.  At first I thought there was something to simply paying your waiters a good minimum wage, and not having them work for tips, but I’m starting to think monetary motivation has more benefits.  Luckily there are a lot of Thai restaurants, and the food is as good as the service.

You don’t go to a hospital or end up in a hospital, you are simply in hospital or at hospital.  And you don’t watch or play sports, just sport.  Maybe, like Ta instead of that’s alright, these became part of the language in the interest of saving time.  Although, they say take away, instead of take out.  That has more letters and syllables.

Australians invented the dual flush toilet.  If you don’t see a symbol to indicate that one is a full flush and the other is a half flush, then the left should be half and the right should be full.  There are also on and off switches on all the outlets, so you can turn off anything you are not using without unplugging it.  Americans need to get on board with that.  No matter how much I want to save the environment, there was no way I was going to crawl behind several pieces of furniture just to unplug my cell phone charger.  Now I have a phone that reminds me to unplug it, and an easy to reach off switch for the plug.

Train tickets have to be purchased before you get on the train, and must cover the extent of your final destination.  But ferry tickets are purchased at circular quay, regardless of weather your journey started or ended there.  Unless, of course, you are going from one mid trip destination to another, then you are expected to pay on the boat.  Some buses will sell tickets on board, and others require prepaid tickets, which can only be purchased of random vendors sprinkled throughout the city.  And if that isn’t confusing enough, try getting somewhere, anywhere, without having looked at a map first.  Trust me, you won’t make it.  Hooray for google street view.

Shopping isn’t the impossible task that everyone made it out to be.  There is no gap, and your standard “made in china” fare is actually very expensive (ironic considering we’re a lot closer over here).  But there are malls in abundance, chain stores everywhere, and no shortage of ways to part with money for the sake of fashion.

People also dress much better out here.  Perhaps all the uniformed schools, instill in them and unbreakable habit of putting on a tie every day of the week.  Sydneysides also dress up to go out.  Black is standard, along with short skirts and high heels for women.  Normally when you see that in NY it means they are under-aged.  They are, of course, the same age here, only legally drunk.

But amongst all the things I have learned about Sydney life over these past few months, are still a few urban mysteries that tickle my interest.  For example, why does the occasional bar bathroom offer a hot iron for women’s hair?  For $2 you get 10 minutes of heat out of a hair straightener.  And this is frequently in bathrooms that don’t even have the typical tampon, candy and condom machines.  Don’t tell me that many women remember to take condoms, but not to finish straightening their hair before a night out on the town.

I also see an extraordinary number of people barefoot.  These sightings were averaging once a week, but have started to go up with the rise in Celsius.  This isn’t just by the beach, but often a great distance away from any shoreline, pool, park, or other area where barefootedness might be expected.  I’m sure there is not a single soul in the city who doesn’t own thongs (and by that I mean flip flops).  Are they really that much effort to put on before heading out for your morning coffee?

But perhaps the greatest mystery Australian life still holds for me, is one I might never solve.  Why DO people eat Vegemite?

Unseasonable Warmth = Nude Beach

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At Cobblers Beach

Among the many benefits of living in a city like Sydney, is the relaxed attitude that makes nude beaches not only easily accessible, but also insanely popular.  Even though we arrived fairly early at the lovely little cove that contains Cobblers Beach, the clean crescent of sand and even the flat portion of cliff above, was already occupied by a long line sunbathers, happily freed of all their clothing.  We were lucky to get a comfy little portion of beach before the afternoon got even warmer and there was more flesh than sand.  If the idea of being at all close to a nude stranger makes you uncomfortable, then this certainly isn’t the beach for you.  It’s all nude, all ages, all shapes and sizes, very popular and very friendly.

Before you even think to ask, no, I did not spend the day sans clothing.  My bathing suit parts have never seen the sunlight, and considering my sensitivity to sun in general, I’m not sure they ever should.  I also happen to think my bikinis (what the Aussies call a swimming cozzie) are pretty cute, so I prefer to wear them.  But if nudity was a private club that required a member’s invitation to set foot inside the front door, then Gabe is my entry ticket.  I was, however, happy to exercise the option of changing out of my swimsuit without the necessity of an overused beach bathroom, or an ineffective towel shield.  Very convenient.

Cobblers Beach is on one of the many peninsulas in Sydney that has been left as a nature reserve, and is a short, tree-lined walk away from the nearest parking lot, so it’s surrounded by nothing but trees and rocks.  Like all Sydney beaches, the sand is squeaky soft, and the water is blue and sparkling.  But of all the beaches I have had occasion to visit so far, I’ve enjoyed this one the most.  Even though it was a definite hot spot on this unseasonably warm spring Sunday, it was worlds away from the touristy buzz of Manly or Bondi.  And the type of people who seem to be drawn to choose a nude beach over the many other options in Sydney, are not only (clearly) uninhibited, but also very friendly.  In fact a great many of them seemed to know each other, and were either meeting friends on the beach or catching up in passing.  Judging from the many people who’s only tan lines were in the fold under their butt cheeks, I figured there were lots of regulars.

The legally nude zone also includes the portion of water within the cove, which made this area equally popular with boaters.  Several boats were anchored just a short swim away from the beach, where their passengers lay nude on the deck.  But being isolated on their own boats made them no less gregarious.  They were shuttling their dinghy’s (and I don’t mean that as a metaphor) to each others boats, and by the end of the afternoon there was the beginnings of a nudist colony on the deck of one of the larger vessels.

The accessibility to boats also made it possible for the tiny boat selling refreshments, to get close enough to the beach for his customers to only have to wade knee deep to place an order.  And the cooperative nature of the people on the beach became even more evident,as they grabbed the tow line to help him steer to the shore, and each patiently took turns holding it to keep the boat straight, as the person in front of them placed their order.  The cappuccinos, made fresh on the boat as it bobbed in the tide next to the growing line of nude customers, were excellent.  If the man who runs the refreshment boat has no competition, then he’s not only a shrewd businessman, but must be a master at making cappuccinos on dry land.  And just in case you were wondering, he did not take advantage of his brief visit to the beach to serve coffee naked.  Although, I’m sure no one would have found it strange.

After I got over the initial strangeness one would understandably feel when suddenly surrounded by naked strangers, I actually found it very comfortable.  There is something about being around people clearly free of inhibitions and judgments that peels away all the ones you might have arrived with.  I now know that, with the exception of a few gentlemen who looked like they were still wearing speedos when they had in fact been removed, the Aussies are a fairly clean-shaven bunch, regardless of sex or age.  I’m much more familiar now with a few trends in piercing that I seem to have missed.  Ouch.  And I will probably never be uncomfortable in a bathing suit (a.k.a. cozzie) ever again.

The only thing I would have asked of this beach, was a slight increase in the temperature of the water.  Anything a few degrees above the icy temperature that must have been somewhere between a meat locker and gelato, would have been nice.  But I was still very happy that I took a dip.  And in keeping with the theme of the beach, all it took was Gabe and I venturing into the water to encourage several other people to try it as well.  According to some of the well tanned regulars, the water is actually quite nice in the summer.  I will definitely come back, and maybe next time I wont bother with the cozzie.