Nine times out of ten, that’s how the question will be asked.  But every once in a while you meet a brave Australian who dares to ask “American?” thus risking the potential wrath of a proud Canook, a show of disdain which I hope has died down since the end of the Bush Jr. era.  But I wouldn’t know, you’d have to ask a Canadian.

I always ask if that’s why they start with the Canadian question, but most don’t admit it.  They simply say they just can’t tell the difference between the accents.  But without a tell tale “about” pronounced “aboot”, neither can I.  Despite the fact that I have picked up on many subtleties of the Australian accent since arriving here, including the tendency to say “reckon” a lot, end many statements with a cheery upward inflection and pronounce the letter H with an audible huff, I wouldn’t be able to tell a New Zealander from an Aussie unless they were wearing something bearing their respective flags which, I should mention to the Aussies, many Canadians do.

So, it’s not the confusion of the two countries that throws me off, as much as it is the way in which the question get’s asked.  It’s always either “Canadian?” or “American?”.  I can’t remember the last time I was asked “Where are you from?”.  Even when were were being asked by every Aussie we encountered “Are you on holiday?”  the follow up question was usually “Canadian?”. I don’t think I have ever asked someone where they were from by suggesting a country first.  Chinese?  Mexican?  Outer Mongolian?

Perhaps that’s because I’m keenly aware that I have no idea what subtle differences exist in the accents of certain countries and the many varied regions within them.  Even back in the States, I wouldn’t be able to guess what state someone was from unless they spoke with an accent worthy of an SNL skit or a Simpson’s character.  Although “hella” is a dead give away from a Northern Californian.  I guess you do pick up on these things after extended exposure.  I might be able to guess which continent you are from, but even then I’d be taking a stab at it.  I might even be wrong if I offered up a hemisphere, so I prefer to stick to the simple “where are you from?”.

I should mention that I have heard more than one Brit insult the Australian twists on English by saying “whose language is it?”.  Funny, I never heard that joke in the States.  Maybe they’ve finally let go of those colonies, or just desire to cut ties with us entirely.  Our neighbors to the North certainly want to.  I only hope they don’t feel about us they way these Kiwis feel about my new neighbors.

Flight of the Concords – Jermaine sleeps with an Australian

Watch the whole video.  The accent joke is the best.