It has been just over three months since I moved my life down under.  So, I figured now would be a good time to reflect on the vast, cross cultural wisdom, my new life in Oz has blessed me with.

Rocket = Arugula
Capsicum = bell pepper.  While pepper = a chili or hot pepper or (in slang) a hot woman.  And if you are hitting on a pepper you are probably tuning her.
Museli = granola, oats, cereal and almost any other form of grain heavy breakfast food
Prawns = Shrimp, always.  I don’t think Aussies believe in eating the prawn’s scrawny cousin, the shrimp.  Not enough meat.
Tasty = cheese.  I agree, cheese is tasty.
Stuffed up = Fucked up.  I kind of like the middle school is charm of that expression.

Cadbury in addition to being a prolific candy, also means lightweight.  If I wasn’t a cadbury already, then $8 for single shot beverages has turned me into one.

Soda and candy has real sugar in it, and costs a lot more.  Ditto for the pasta sauce.  The candy tastes great, but I haven’t gotten used to the pasta sauce yet.

Go out early for breakfast, and early for lunch.  If you want something decent, then breakfast ends at 11am and lunch ends at 2:30.  Good thing It’s impossible to drink enough to leave you so hungover that you wake up craving breakfast at 3pm.  At least you can still get great coffee all day.  And if you see a breakfast special that comes with a coffee, get it.  Unlike the itty bitty cup of swill you might get from a NYC street vendor, coffee out here means your choice of cappuccino, latte, or a flat white, long black, short black and all those other forms of coffee the Aussies seem so proudly addicted to.

When going out to eat, don’t expect great service, unless you’re at a Thai restaurant.  At first I thought there was something to simply paying your waiters a good minimum wage, and not having them work for tips, but I’m starting to think monetary motivation has more benefits.  Luckily there are a lot of Thai restaurants, and the food is as good as the service.

You don’t go to a hospital or end up in a hospital, you are simply in hospital or at hospital.  And you don’t watch or play sports, just sport.  Maybe, like Ta instead of that’s alright, these became part of the language in the interest of saving time.  Although, they say take away, instead of take out.  That has more letters and syllables.

Australians invented the dual flush toilet.  If you don’t see a symbol to indicate that one is a full flush and the other is a half flush, then the left should be half and the right should be full.  There are also on and off switches on all the outlets, so you can turn off anything you are not using without unplugging it.  Americans need to get on board with that.  No matter how much I want to save the environment, there was no way I was going to crawl behind several pieces of furniture just to unplug my cell phone charger.  Now I have a phone that reminds me to unplug it, and an easy to reach off switch for the plug.

Train tickets have to be purchased before you get on the train, and must cover the extent of your final destination.  But ferry tickets are purchased at circular quay, regardless of weather your journey started or ended there.  Unless, of course, you are going from one mid trip destination to another, then you are expected to pay on the boat.  Some buses will sell tickets on board, and others require prepaid tickets, which can only be purchased of random vendors sprinkled throughout the city.  And if that isn’t confusing enough, try getting somewhere, anywhere, without having looked at a map first.  Trust me, you won’t make it.  Hooray for google street view.

Shopping isn’t the impossible task that everyone made it out to be.  There is no gap, and your standard “made in china” fare is actually very expensive (ironic considering we’re a lot closer over here).  But there are malls in abundance, chain stores everywhere, and no shortage of ways to part with money for the sake of fashion.

People also dress much better out here.  Perhaps all the uniformed schools, instill in them and unbreakable habit of putting on a tie every day of the week.  Sydneysides also dress up to go out.  Black is standard, along with short skirts and high heels for women.  Normally when you see that in NY it means they are under-aged.  They are, of course, the same age here, only legally drunk.

But amongst all the things I have learned about Sydney life over these past few months, are still a few urban mysteries that tickle my interest.  For example, why does the occasional bar bathroom offer a hot iron for women’s hair?  For $2 you get 10 minutes of heat out of a hair straightener.  And this is frequently in bathrooms that don’t even have the typical tampon, candy and condom machines.  Don’t tell me that many women remember to take condoms, but not to finish straightening their hair before a night out on the town.

I also see an extraordinary number of people barefoot.  These sightings were averaging once a week, but have started to go up with the rise in Celsius.  This isn’t just by the beach, but often a great distance away from any shoreline, pool, park, or other area where barefootedness might be expected.  I’m sure there is not a single soul in the city who doesn’t own thongs (and by that I mean flip flops).  Are they really that much effort to put on before heading out for your morning coffee?

But perhaps the greatest mystery Australian life still holds for me, is one I might never solve.  Why DO people eat Vegemite?